Summer Custody Mistakes New Jersey Co-Parents Make

Led by Angelo Sarno, the family law team at Sarno da Costa D’Aniello Maceri Webb LLC is well-versed in negotiating prenuptial agreements in New Jersey.

Summer can create co-parenting stress.

For some families, summer entails vacations, summer camps, and a break from school-year routines. However, for parents who are divorced or separated, summer can add unexpected challenges. Parenting schedules, more often than not, work well during the school year but become more difficult when school is out. Summer plan questions, like summer camps or vacations, or changes in parenting time, can create conflict if parents do not prepare beforehand.

Many of the most common summer custody disputes can be avoided with proper planning and communication. Here are some mistakes that parents should avoid when figuring out the challenges of summer parenting time and possible changes.

Mistake: Waiting until summer to discuss plans, like vacations.

A common source of conflict with co-parenting is waiting too long to start discussing summer travel and other summer plans. Many parents begin making vacation plans months in advance by booking flights, hotels, and committing to dates before discussing those plans with their co-parent. More often than not, this can create disagreements, especially if the vacation time interferes with an already in-place parenting schedule. Even if parents get along, assumptions that dates will work can lead to misunderstandings and disputes.

Before making traveling plans, parents should review their custody agreements and plans to determine (1) if vacation notice is required, (2) how vacation times are selected, (3) if written consent is needed for out-of-state travel, and (4) what information should be shared mutually between parents. Additionally, the earlier these conversations and agreements occur (like in spring when summer plans are being made), the more likely parents are to avoid disputes, as both parents will mutually understand each other’s summer intentions.

Mistake: Signing up for summer programs without mutual agreement between parents.

Summer camps, sports, and other summer programs are good for children over the summer, but they can also be a source of disagreement between co-parents. Issues like this occur when a parent registers a child for a week-long or longer camp without realizing it may go into the other parent’s scheduled parenting time, or parents disagree about the type of activity, cost, and interest of the child if they participate in that certain summer programs.

When parents share custody, decisions like this that involve a child’s activities and welfare are usually to be made jointly and mutually understood. Before signing your child up for summer programs, co-parents should discuss dates, parenting responsibilities (like travel), costs, changes or impacts on parenting time, and the interests of the child. These conversations are less stressful than trying to resolve a disagreement after paying fees for the summer program.

Tips to help with summer program understanding include discussing first and possible shared summer calendars that include vacations, sports, and events that are mutually understood by both parents.

Mistake: Assumptions that verbal agreements override or replace court orders already set in place.

Custody over the summer can sometimes end with parents agreeing to swap weekends, extend vacations, or just overall modify parenting schedules to accommodate the other parent. While this flexibility can be beneficial to the child, problems may come from parents making assumptions that a verbal agreement will change the terms of a court order more permanently than intended. These changes are only temporary for the summer or that specific date, and unless it is in writing and agreed to be permanent, the court will look at previous court orders to determine the custody arrangement.

When disputes like this arise, courts look at existing court orders as well as written agreements. This is why parents should have written documents for any temporary changes, even if there is a good co-parenting relationship that has had no problems in the past. Writings can be as simple as emails or text messages that show schedule changes, dates, makeup parenting time, and each parent’s agreement.

Conclusion: Discuss early and document agreements

Summer should allow children to spend time with both parents and be enjoyable, with new memories and experiences. When co-parents discuss vacation and summer events early, mutually agree upon and understand summer activities, and document schedule modifications, parents reduce disputes and will help make the summer enjoyable for all parties involved.

Contact Our Trusted Family Law Attorneys in New Jersey

If you are considering a prenuptial agreement, our family law attorneys at Sarno da Costa D’Aniello Maceri Webb LLC can help. To schedule a consultation with an experienced lawyer in New Jersey, contact us or call 973-274-5200. We serve clients in several convenient locations, including Roseland, Bridgewater, Hackensack, Morristown, and Eatontown, NJ.